I can only go by what I know...
So often I find myself or people around me discussing whether God allows or "lets" things happen or whether he in fact plays a part in the decisions "we make" on daily basis ( I am not sure how clear I am being on what I am talking about). Questions are often asked if God lets bad things happen, or if God can use a bad decision we make, or if is there only one path we can take and one bad decision we make puts us off that path...and on and on.

And this is what I know...I know God has been faithful time and time again even when I am not, and I know that he is constantly at work around me even when I think I know what I am doing and I am handling things. When I find myself or someone close to me in an unfamiliar situation and questioning life, all I can do is point to the countless number of times when I thought I knew, but God had much bigger plans...
...when I was fifteen my parents told me we were moving to Tennessee and I thought my world had turned upside down. I thought my parents were in control and they were making a ridiculous decision! BUT, I now look back and see God was working through my parents. Moving was a huge blessing that changed my life...God put people and situations and conversations in my life in Tennessee that drew me to Him, and I know God could have done that in Indiana, but Tennessee was a tool he used. I smile when I think that I thought I knew what I needed, yet God knew much more than I could have ever imagined.
...I thought I would be study to be a teacher all my life, and actually came in as a Christian Studies/Spanish major but who knew except God that he had been planting seeds for me to turn to Social Work...I love it and cannot imagine studying anything else! Again God knew much better.
...as I started the summer with orientation for work, I thought, "...what am I getting myself into?!" And yet I had a wonderful summer and met some really great people, who have encouraged me in walk with Christ, laughed with me, listened to me, showed me you can be a believer in a secular social work place....and so much more. Again, God knew so much better than me!
As I find my self with questions all the time about life...All I can do is remember what I know...God has continually been faithful and at work around me...most the time it is hindsight, especially in some of the most difficult times:)
So, as I begin a new semester of school which brings many other new and unfamiliar things...all I can do is remember what I know(which is easier sometimes more than others)...God is faithful...And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.~Romans 8:28... For the word of the LORD is upright, and all his work is done in faithfulness. ~Psalm 33:4... Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.~Hebrews 10: 23
These thoughts are so scattered, but all I am trying to say is for our many questions we need to remember to hold onto the one thing we know...God...as we search for answers

For everything there is a season...
Have you ever felt so close to God, you know he is trying to show you something, but at the same time so far from Him, sure he is not hearing a word you are praying? That is the best way I know how to describe what I feel right now. So many feeling I just do not know what to do with all of them....I am praising God as I am reminded of all I owe him for all he has done in my life, my life would be so different without him. I am reminded of his grace and mercy extended to me even though I am a sinner and am constantly messing up. I am reminded of his uncoditional love for me, his daughter...and yet I feel so unworthy, as I see those around me who I am so close to and love that have not accepted the gift of his son. I am burdened because those around me do not know the Lord and the life he can give them. I often wonder...why me?...Why am I not the lost person who is searching for truth in everything except the Lord: Guys, money, drugs, career? I could very well be that person, if it were not for the Lord and all he has done and continues to do. As I am reminded that it is only because of the grace of God that I am where I am today...my heart cries out for those who do not know him. My prayer...that myself and other believers would live a life that would point people to Christ. There is so much more I want to say...but I cannot put it into words just yet. I am looking forwatd to this week ahead, as I have time off to rest and pray and think...and just be silent. If you know me, you know silence is not something that comes easily for me...but this week I hope to just spend time in silence with the Lord.

It has been over three years since I started this blog, and I have been telling myself all summer I am going to start writing again. I have to learn to use blogger all over again...since it has been so long....a post to follow soon